Those who watched Sex & The City will remember the scene where the modest Charlotte drags the famous quartet of friends to a tantric sex class to learn how to "please your man. " True to its style, the series turns the experience into a parody. This is not an isolated case: being little known and also linked to a still taboo subject like sexuality, tantric sex often moves between caricatures, misconceptions, and a certain aura of mystery.

This is enough for few to really know what it is about. Sol Contreras encountered tantra in a different way. She was 32 years old when, after feeling discomfort in her chest following sexual intercourse, she began to seek answers.

Today she is a therapist and tantric facilitator, but at that moment, what she found was a practice of conscious sexuality that bore no resemblance to what she had seen or heard before. Later, a health episode that paralyzed her life led her to delve deeper into tantric self-regulation as a means of personal reconnection. There she began to understand tantra not only as a path to integral well-being but also as the journey she wanted to embark on.

Although it is often associated with eroticism, frequently wrapped in a mystical halo, tantric sex—which involves performing a ritual prior to the sexual act—points to something different. As Sol explains, it is an integral practice rooted in Hindu thought linked to spiritual and philosophical development, which originally emerged as a form of counterculture. "It's not that tantra is sexuality.

There are exercises that can be done in a state of arousal or naked with a partner, but the essence of the practice is a…

Daily, people interested in this type of work come to Sol's consultation. Most are men between 35 and 40 years old looking for "something more" in their sexual lives: from escaping the monotony of the conventional to addressing dysfunctions or simply exploring new ways to connect with themselves and their partners. In the case of couples who arrive together, motivations range from the classic search for improving sexual life in terms of connection and understanding, to wanting to rekindle the flame, better please the other, and break the routine.

There are also newer couples who, although they function well emotionally, do not match sexually. Many arrive with the idea that this will be something immediately sexual. "And the first thing we do is slow down," says Sol.

Some arrive tense, with instructions in their heads, and are surprised when the first thing they are asked to do is simply breathe. There are also those who get confused, says Sol. When she massages the body, she does so gently, so if the person experiences pleasure, it is natural, even if they have an erection or spontaneous ejaculation.

But that is not the goal of the massages, and therefore her years of experience allow her to "resolve those misunderstandings. " Once in the consultation, the scene can vary, but it usually begins like this: a quiet room, dim lights, minimal instructions. There is no rush or rigid script.

Rather, it is an invitation to explore. From Sol's perspective, the dynamics are adjusted to the type of experience each couple seeks. Some opt for a three-hour theoretical-practical class; others for a guided massage, where intuition has more space than the facilitator's intervention, allowing the couple to finish the session as they see fit.

There are also those who choose a simultaneous massage, performed by therapists, as a way to share a joint sensory experience, or even explore voyeuristic desires. For those who arrive alone, the offer is similar: massages, classes, conscious self-touch practices. All aimed at "taking you to a new way of dealing with your sexuality.

Learning to accumulate more energy in the body, thus intensifying the experience of sexuality. " Sol explains that in practice, tantra is experienced in very different ways. "Many people think that a tantric massage has to include the genitals, that one must be aroused, or that there must be ejaculation or orgasm.

Especially when it is with a partner. But no. A tantric massage is nothing more than a massage with full awareness.

Ideally, the whole body is explored, but it is not an obligation. " In this context, tantra stops focusing exclusively on the erotic and opens up to a broader experience, where body, mind, and emotions interact on the same level. Far from the logic of performance and its results, it is the process that makes sense, leading to benefits that do not end in intimacy but extend to overall well-being.

"It is integral work because tantra, in the sexual realm, reveals our essence. And when practiced from the body, that materiality allows us to feel," explains Sol. Among the effects she observes in those who practice it, she mentions reduced stress, greater concentration, improvements in breathing, and, above all, a different relationship with the process, not just with arousal.

More than a technique, tantra is learned through experience. It is not about reaching an ideal state or "doing it right," but about incorporating small practices that allow one to inhabit the body and the encounter from another place. "Because, deep down, it is not about getting to a particular place," says Sol.

"Rather, it is about learning to stay: in the body, in the breath, in what is happening. " Something that—for many—is not as evident as it seems.